A Neighbors Dilemma

January 26, 2016

One winter day, Fred's neighbor Sam, came up to Fred's door and started pounding on it.
Fred answered the door. 'Sam, what's up?' he said.
Sam angrily replied, 'That no good son of yours has been peeing in thesnow in my yard!'
Fred asked, 'How do you know it was my son?'
Sam answered, 'He wrote his name in pee!'
'Okay,' Fred replied. 'I'll talk to him about it, but I have to say, I don't see what the big deal is. It's just pee in the snow.

Why are you so fired up about it?'
Sam snapped back, 'It's in my daughter's handwriting!'

A Heartwarming Family Story

January 25, 2016

During the Blizzard this past weekend
I stayed home and spent time with my family.

.......... They seem like nice people

Elk Sex…

January 22, 2016

Elk Sex...

Two guys are drinking in a bar.
One says, 'Did you know that Elks have sex 10 to 15 times a day?'
Aww, sh*t!' says his friend, 'and I just joined the Knights of Columbus!'

2 Quotes from W.C. Fields

January 21, 2016

When asked if he believed in clubs for women fields answered:
Yes, if every other form of persuasion fail.

On Water:
I never drink water; it's the stuff that rusts pipes and fish Fu*ck in it



A Husband and Wife had a fight.

January 20, 2016

Wife called her Mom: He fought with me again, I am coming to you.

Mom: No dear, he must pay for his mistake.
.............  I am coming to stay with you!