How to keep a woman happy… Priceless!
It's not difficult to make a woman happy.
It doesn't take much !!
A man only needs to be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A Lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A sexologist
15. A gynecologist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. Give her compliments regularly
46. Let her go shopping regularly
47. Be honest
48. Be relatively rich
49. Not stress her out
50. Not look at other women
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes or who she is with
BUT IT IS ALSO VERY IMPORTANT TO:
54. Never to forget:
* arrangements she makes
* her parents
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HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Leave him alone
The Important Of Moaning
Morris comes home to find his wife, Sadie, crying.
“I found out from the neighbors that you’ve been having an affair with that cheap secretary in your office! Why would you do that to me? Haven’t I always been a good wife? I’ve cooked for you, raised your children, and I’ve always been by your side for thirty-five years. What haven’t I done to make you happy?”
Embarrassed, Morris confesses, “It’s true, Sadie, you’ve been the best wife a man could hope for. You make me happy in all ways but one. You don’t moan when we make love!”
Sadie questions: “If I moaned when we had sex, you’d stop running around?! All right, come to the bedroom so I can show you that I, too, can moan!”
So they retire to the bedroom, get undressed, and climb beneath the sheets. As they begin to kiss, Sadie asks, “Now, Morris, should I moan now?”
“No, not yet.”
Morris begins fondling Sadie. “What about now, Morris? Should I moan now?”
“No, I’ll tell you when!”
He climbs on top of Sadie and begins to have intercourse.
“Is it time for me to moan, Morris?”
“Wait, I’ll tell you when.”
Moments later, in the heat of passion, Morris yells “Now, Sadie, moan! MOAN!”
“OY! OY!” Moans Sadie. “You wouldn’t BELIEVE what a day I’ve had!”
Love and Cherish till …..
A husband died. A few weeks later the wife died. As she got to heaven she saw her husband. She ran up to him with tears in her eyes.
'Darling, how I've missed you!'
The husband extends his arms stopping her from embracing him and says, 'Whoa there woman, the contract was until death!'
An Atheist Crosses Paths With A Bear
A photographer, who was also a confirmed atheist, decided to go into the woods to get photos of the fall foliage. It was a beautiful day: fall colors, birds chirping, babbling brook, and a gentle breeze rustling the leaves.
While snapping shots, the photographer heard a noise behind him and whirled around to see a huge bear coming through the bushes.
He dropped his camera and ran. And kept running and running… And looking behind him, he noticed the bear was gaining on him! He was so scared that tears came to his eyes. He ran faster, but the bear was closing in on him. He ran faster yet and tripped over a root. Rolling over onto his back, the man saw the bear rise to his full height and raise a huge paw… and the atheist cried out, “Oh, God, no!”
And everything stopped. The birds stopped chirping. The brook stopped babbling. The gentle breeze stopped. And the bear froze with his paw in the air. And the man heard a booming voice say, “Young man. For years you’ve doubted my very existence, but now that your life is in peril you call my name to help you. Why should I do so?”
And the man thought for a moment, and said, “Yes, you are right. If you are God, then it would be hypocritical of me to become a Christian at this point in my life. But, do you think that you could at least make the bear a Christian for today?” And the booming voice was quiet for a moment and then said, “Done.”
And everything started again. The birds chirping, brook babbling, and gentle breeze rustling the leaves. And the bear slowly lowered his paw. Then the bear put his paws together, and bowed his massive head and said, “Dear Lord, please bless this food we are about to eat.”
Faking Your Age
A 60-year-old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception. His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment, one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23-year-old beauty.
“Simple,” grins the millionaire, “I faked my age.'
His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.
'Well,' he replied, 'I said I was 87!'