Joke of the Day – Thursday, September 10, 2015
Joke of the Day – Friday, September 4, 2015
Two ladies were sitting under hair dryers at the hairdresser having a chat.
One of them said, 'Tell me how's that daughter of yours?'
'She's okay thanks. She married a fantastic man. He's got such a good job in the City that she gave up her secretary's job. She stays at home but never needs to cook, because he always takes her out, or clean the house, because he got her a maid, or worry about my two lovely grandchildren, because he got her a live-in nanny.'
And then asks, 'And how's your son?'
The reply, 'His life is awful. He married a witch. She never cooks anything and makes him take her out to dinner every night. God forbid she should vacuum a carpet, so she made him get her a maid. He has to work like a dog because she refuses to get a job and she never takes care of my grandson because she made him get her a nanny
Joke of the Day – Thursday, September 3, 2015
A woman is cooking eggs in the kitchen when her husband comes running in...
Immediately, he sees the eggs and gasps in horror. 'Be careful! CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh, my GOSH!'
The wife, startled at her husband's violent reaction, dashes to the fridge to get some butter.
'You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!'
The wife, concerned by the status of her husband's mental state, forgets about the butter and goes running to the eggs.
'WE NEED BUTTER! Are you CRAZY??? Where are we going to get the butter? They're going to stick! HURRY!'
The wife runs to the fridge.
'CAREFUL about the eggs! CAREFUL. You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them quickly! Oh not that quickly, don't you know how to cook? Are you insane? Turn the DAMN EGGS!'
At this point, the wife starts crying, since she has no idea what to do.
She gasps 'What is WRONG with you? I know how to cook eggs.'
The husband simply smiles, remarks 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like while I'm driving with you in the car'.
Joke of the Day – Wednesday, September 2, 2015
A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, 'good morning young man, can you tell me where the Post Office is?'
The little boy replied, 'Sure! Just go straight down this street a coupla blocks and turn to your right.'
The man thanked the boy kindly and said, 'I'm the new pastor in town. I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday... I'll show you how to get to Heaven.'
The little boy replied with a chuckle. 'You're kidding me, right? .....You don't even know the way to the Post Office!”
Joke of the Day – Tuesday, September 1, 2015