A Penny for Your Thoughts

September 22, 2017

One night, a wife found her husband standing over their baby’s crib. Silently she watched him.
As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, even skepticism.
Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband. “A penny for your thoughts,” she said.
“It’s amazing!” he replied. “I just can’t see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $67.50.”

The Coast Is Not Clear

September 21, 2017

It was two o’clock in the morning and a husband and wife were asleep when suddenly the phone rang.
The husband picked up the phone and said, “Hello? (Pause as he listens.) How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?” and promptly slammed the phone down.
His wife rolls over and asks, “Who was that?”
The husband replies, “I don’t know. Some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear.”

Please Advise

September 20, 2017

The School teacher sent home a note with her student.
The note reads, ”Your son is an obedient and bright student, but spends too much time talking to girls.”
Mother sends a note back the following day, ”Please advise a solution. Father has the same problem.'

Grandmother Approved

September 19, 2017

Even with a thousand games, dolls and crafts to choose from, my customer at the toy store still couldn’t find a thing for her grandson.
'Maybe a video or something educational?' I asked.
'No, that’s not it,' she said.
We wandered the aisles until something caught her eye, a laser gun with flashing lights and 15 different high-pitched sounds.
'This is perfect,' she said, beaming. 'My daughter-in-law will hate it.'

Feared Meeting

September 18, 2017

I was on my way out of the house to meet with a cantankerous client, and I was dreading it.
The look on my face must have given me away because my four-year-old daughter asked what was wrong.
'I’m going to meet a woman who always yells at Daddy,' I told her.
'Oh,' she said. 'Say hi to Mommy for me.'