Southern Pounderings

July 22, 2019

The Very Funny John Pinette

July 19, 2019

Father of Who?

July 18, 2019
A man walk into a supermarket and notices a beautiful woman staring at him.
She stares for quite some time, so finally the man asked “Do I know you?”
The woman answers “I think your the father of one of my kids”.
The man thinks for a minute then realizes this kid she is talking about must be the result of the one and only time he ever cheated on his wife.
So he says to the woman “are you the stripper that was at my best friends bachelor party about 5 years ago?” “You know, the one I had sex with on the pool table while your friend spanked my butt with a whip?”
The woman looks at him horrified and says “No, I’m your son’s teacher”.

Cabbies

July 17, 2019
A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner.

The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the young daughter asks her mother, “Mommy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?”

The mother replies, “Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come by and pick them up on the way home from work.”

The cabby, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says, “Ah, C’mon lady! Tell your daughter the truth! For crying out loud…They’re hookers!”

A brief period of silence follows, and the daughter then asks, “Mommy, do the hooker ladies have any children?”

The mother replies, “Of course, Dear. Where do you think cabbies come from?”

I Conquered Depression

July 16, 2019

I found myself pretty depressed lately and thought maybe if I made a few new friends that might help.

In considering how to do that I thought I would use the Facebook approach.

So now, every day, I go down on the street and tell the passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done or where we had dinner the night before, and what I will be doing today

I give them pictures of my family, my dog, videos of my staring at my computer screen or napping and of course, the Pix of me winning the Body By Hebrew National Contest.

I also listen to their conversations, and I tell them I love them, and it works.

I already have 5 people following me: 3 Police Officers and 2 Psychiatrists.